Episode 1
Jean-Claude Van Damme, Darryl Strawberry, Joe Cocker
1998-08-31
During a segment comparing President Clinton's vacation to Dave's, a stockbroker comes in for a hug.
TV season
1998-08-31
Episode 1
1998-08-31
During a segment comparing President Clinton's vacation to Dave's, a stockbroker comes in for a hug.
Episode 2
1998-09-01
Dave points out that the show has undergone budget cuts, which might explain the tiny cue cards Tony's holding. Later, Beau Bridges promotes his new series, ""Maximum Bob.""
Episode 3
1998-09-02
Dave makes a lenghty rant about ""The Late Shift"" after an audience member asks him for an autograph; Martin Short sings the Top Ten List; Terry Bradshaw makes his predictions for the football season.
Episode 4
1998-09-03
Alan Kalter comments on home run record that is being chased by Mark McGwire; Dave announces that CBS ""just don't care 'bout"" the new fall lineup; Ray Romano talks about his family.
Episode 5
1998-09-04
During CBS Mailbag, Dave and the band play ""Let's Screw with Paul Shaffer's Mind.""
Episode 6
1998-09-07
Junior Brown sits in with the band, while Biff reports from Busch Stadium in St. Louis.
Episode 7
1998-09-08
Biff makes another report from Busch Stadium, while Dave flirts with Andie MacDowell.
Episode 8
1998-09-09
Dave goes on a tirade about the CBS watermark on the lower right hand side of the screen. Later, Dave chats with the guy who caught Mark McGwire's 62nd Home Run ball.
Episode 9
1998-09-10
Dave stuggles to grow a beard; Charles Grodin promotes his talk show; Dave chats with the former Washington Senators pitcher who gave up Babe Ruth's 59th home run in 1927 (in his MLB debut, no less).
Episode 10
1998-09-11
During CBS Mailbag, Paul, Tony, Biff and Sid announce that they're going to tour the country as a CSNY-type guitar band.
Episode 11
1998-09-14
Dave congratulates the staff on the big Emmy win the previous night, then grills Rob Burnett for not kissing his wife just before he accepted the award.
Episode 12
1998-09-15
Dave shows a (bogus) Mastercard ad starring Ken Starr; Biff goes to Chicago for another Home Run Report; Jackie Chan does an great Elvis impression.
Episode 13
1998-09-16
Biff brings in scissors for a tie trim; Calvert impersonates Hank Williams, Jr.; Bill Cosby plays sax under the alias ""Philly Billy Be Bop.""
Episode 14
1998-09-17
Dave apologizes for his affair with Angela Lansbury, while Biff apologizes for his affair with Dave's wife. Shortly afterwards, Dorothy calls and insults Dave.
Episode 15
1998-09-18
Dave makes another rant pertaining to the CBS Watermark; kid Geography whiz Jonathan Estrada helps out during CBS Mailbag; Brian Benben promotes his new, self-titled (and quickly cancelled) sitcom.
Episode 16
1998-09-21
Dave talks about a Steak House Onion Machine, while Michael J. Fox promotes his sitcom ""Spin City.""
Episode 17
1998-09-22
Dave shows a (bogus) ad for ESPN2's ""Xtreme Presidental Perjury,"" while J.Lo promotes ""Antz.""
Episode 18
1998-09-23
A gag promo for the TV series ""Biffy, The Umpire Layer"" is declared the worst joke ever seen on the show; an ""Audience Vote"" determines Rip Taylor as tonight's guest instead of an absentee Cindy Crawford; Kevin James does some stand-up to promote ""The King of Queens.""
Episode 19
1998-09-24
Dave makes fun of Inky's summer camp outfit. Later, Howard Stern plays with his gut and strips to his underwear in order to show off his legs.
Episode 20
1998-09-25
A fawn walks onstage during CBS Mailbag; comedian Jon Stewart promotes ""The Daily Show.""
Episode 21
1998-09-28
Musical guests Elvis Costello and Burt Bacharach perform ""I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself."" Also, ""newly elected chancellor of Germany Gerhardt Schroeder"" sits in with the band ""all night long"" on alto sax.
Episode 22
1998-09-29
Dave lets Inky go on a ""gum break;"" George Clarke is introduced as operator of the Late Show hedge fund; Biff demands more scandals involving President Clinton; Chris Tucker promotes Rush Hour.
Episode 23
1998-09-30
Warren fills in for Paul (out for Yom Kippur); Kelsey Grammer brings out his dog during his interview.
Episode 24
1998-10-01
Dennis, a baseball-bunting pig, waits throughout the show to shag some balls on 53rd Street. He ends up getting bumped after the ""Hedwig"" performance goes on too long.
Episode 25
1998-10-02
During CBS Mailbag, Alan promotes ""Alan Kalter's Music To Make Love By,"" which includes two TV theme songs and a doorbell. Later, Steve Martin's lengthy absence from appearing on the show is explained in a little film called ""Dave and Steve's Gay Vacation.""
Episode 26
1998-10-05
Dave experiments with how he can give the finger without being censored; Kelly Preston promotes ""Holy Man.""
Episode 27
1998-10-06
Tony Mendez does a ""card trick""; Tito Puente contributes drumrolls to the Top Ten list; Dave shows a (bogus) new, improved $20 bill.
Episode 28
1998-10-07
A new segment called ""This Day in Late Show History"" reveals that October 7 was a Saturday in 1994. Biff corrects Dave, telling him it was a Friday. Later, Jeff Goldblum promotes ""Holy Man.""
Episode 29
1998-10-08
Dave takes a look at Tony's hands, which have marker ink all over them. Later, George Miller comments on the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal.
Episode 30
1998-10-09
During CBS Mailbag, Tony bares his ass again, and The Foul-Mouthed Scenic Designer (Kathleen Ankers) lives up to her title.
Episode 31
1998-10-19
The calvacade of mediocre crops continues as ""Joe Whitworth"" from Oregon walks onstage with a ""gigantic"" pumpkin; Biff presents a World Series Report despite a sore throat; Roberto Benigni plugs ""Life is Beautiful""; Mark McGwire does a little hitting practice on 53rd Street with Dave Dorsett's son Chris.
Episode 32
1998-10-20
It's Dave's 3000th show in late night, so he celebrates by bringing Charles Grodin onstage to break the monotony of chatting with Paul. Later, Dave introduces some State Fair winners, including a 530-pound pumpkin and a middle-aged champion hog caller.
Episode 33
1998-10-21
Dave and George Clarke go to Yankee Stadium, where the building engineer hits a home run.
Episode 34
1998-10-22
Biff participates in more interviews in part two of his World Series report, while Danny Glover plugs ""Lethal Weapon 4.""
Episode 35
1998-10-23
Tony's eye itches, and Dave gives him a hard time for potentially screwing up the cue cards; during CBS Mailbag, Dave interrogates TV star ""Calista Flockhart"" (Gerard), who magically transforms into the dancing baby from her hit show ""Ally McBeal""; Dave welcomes World Series hero David Wells.
Episode 36
1998-10-26
Four shirtless guys (spelling ""YANKS"") bring out the Top Ten; Danny DeVito tries to sing.
Episode 37
1998-10-27
Dave cons a Joe G's customer into appearing in a bogus campaign ad; Eddie Izzard does stand-up.
Episode 38
1998-10-28
Biff shows outtakes from last week's World Series reports, while director Todd Solondz promotes ""Happiness.""
Episode 39
1998-10-29
Dave makes several jokes at the expense of septuagenarian spaceman John Glenn; Holly Hunter plugs Living Out Loud.
Episode 40
1998-10-30
Dave announces the names of staff members who will run in the New York City Marathon; Biff gives out candy to the audience; Dave shows a box of Snoop Doggy Dogg dog biscuits, so David Diaz does an investigation of Dave plagiarizing the daytime talk show ""Donny and Marie.""
Episode 41
1998-11-02
New York Marathon winner John Kagwe runs through during the monologue, and is later followed by women's winner Franca Faicconi. Later, Dave spills coffee on his tie and suffers a nervous breakdown, which is followed by a safety message from Paul.
Episode 42
1998-11-03
Dave gives bogus election results; the outside cam goes to Joe G's for another round of ""Please Stop Calling Me Debbie""; Dave chats with Ellie Lammer, a 12-year-old who examined parking meters for a school project.
Episode 43
1998-11-04
Dave shows a clip of new Minnesota governor Jesse ""The Body"" Ventura in the movie ""The Running Man""; Senator Chuck Schumer presents the Top Ten; basketball star (and future alleged murderer) Jayson Williams lifts weights with one hand.
Episode 44
1998-11-05
Tony gets scolded for chewing gum; shortly after appearing on ""Know Your Current Events,"" an audience member starts singing; Dave interviews a Catholic priest that won the Publisher's Clearinghouse sweepstakes.
Episode 45
1998-11-06
Dave chats with Evan Metropoulos, the 17-year-old CEO of the Bumble Bee Tuna Corp.
Episode 46
1998-11-09
Dave mentions that Meryl Streep, tonight's scheduled guest and star of the movie ""One True Thing,"" had to cancel at the last minute. In place of the Oscar-winner is Retired Col. Gail Halvorsen, who dropped candy on East German children during the airlift in 1949.
Episode 47
1998-11-10
Tom Wolfe promotes his first novel in 11 years, ""The Man In Full.""
Episode 48
1998-11-11
Episode 49
1998-11-12
Dave accuses Tony Mendez of goosing someone with a cue card; Roma Downey and Kenneth Branagh meet for the first time; Pat and Kenny sing the theme song to ""Pat and Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts.""
Episode 50
1998-11-13
Episode 51
1998-11-16
Jayson Williams of the New Jersey Nets operates one of the cameras; a ""Kid Scientist"" from Naperville, Illinois cracks eggs; Cameron Diaz plugs ""Very Bad Things.""
Episode 52
1998-11-17
Dave once again takes away Tony's gum, while Paul tries to flirt with Monica Lewinsky and Linda Tripp.
Episode 53
1998-11-18
Episode 54
1998-11-19
Drew Barrymore plugs ""Home Fries,"" while Celine Dion and Bryan Adams perform a duet.
Episode 55
1998-11-20
Todd Rundgren sits in, while Drew Barrymore walks onstage so that she can show what her new dog looks like.
Episode 56
1998-11-23
James Cotton sits in; Dave discusses Dr. Kevorkian and the safest handling of a Thanksgiving turkey; the 5th anniversary special (which aired that night) is spoofed.
Episode 57
1998-11-24
As he does almost every Thankgiving, Kreskin plays for pride in a little game called ""White Meat / Dark Meat."" Tonight, he correctly guesses that Dennis Franz (live via telephone) will have white meat for his holiday dinner.
Episode 58
1998-11-25
Jayson Williams of the Nets comments on the NBA lockout, then drops phony turkeys out the 4th floor window. Later, Gwyneth Paltrow plugs ‘Shakespeare In Love.""
Episode 59
1998-11-26
Dave warns pedestrians (via his PA system) that the turkey is bad; a guy in the balcony talks to Dave about turning flips onstage; Paul correctly guesses that Dorothy baked a rhubarb pie.
Episode 60
1998-11-27
Dave fusses over his hair, then messes around with it. Later, Salma Hayek plugs ""Dogma.""
Episode 61
1998-12-07
It's ""Stewart Night,"" as all the guests share the same last name despite not being related. French Stewart chats with Dave via telephone, Calvert does his famous Rod Stewart impression, Martha Stewart hangs out in the green room, and Patrick Stewart and Jon Stewart plug their most recent projects. Oh yeah, and Faith Hill (not a Stewart) sings.
Episode 62
1998-12-08
Live from Times Square, it's ""Dick Clark's Rockin' December 9 Countdown."" At the stroke of midnight, Greg Kinnear commutes from the theater to give Dick a kiss.
Episode 63
1998-12-09
Gerard plays an openly gay man in ""Who Asked For It?""; The Brooklyn Philharmonic plays the ""William Tell Overture.""
Episode 64
1998-12-10
Dave compares an electrician that played ""KYCE"" to John Elway. Also, Meg Ryan plugs ""You've Got Mail.""
Episode 65
1998-12-11
Tom Brokaw drops by sporting a turtleneck sweater in lieu of his usual two-piece suit, and pretty soon Biff is handing out turtlenecks to the audience. By the end of the show, even Dave is wearing one.
Episode 66
1998-12-14
Dave explains the impeachment process; Robin Williams hosts the PBS special ""The Shaffer Campaign: A Look Back,"" which details Paul's futile attempt to run for congress.
Episode 67
1998-12-15
In lieu of a giant meatball, a pastrami sandwich is placed on top of the Late Show Christmas Tree; Kreskin guesses if Tom Arnold (via telephone) will correctly spell ""Hanukkah.""
Episode 68
1998-12-16
While Paul and the Orchestra perform ""Songs for Pedestrians,"" Dave trims his tie. Also, a ""Welcome Communists"" banner hangs onstage.
Episode 69
1998-12-17
Live from sunny Los Angeles, it's ""Dick Clark's Rockin' Countdown to December 18,"" followed by ""Casey Kasem's Countdown to Dick Clark's Rockin' Countdown to December 18."" When it strikes midnight, Casey is nearly drowned in a sea of confetti.
Episode 70
1998-12-18
During Mailbag, Alan gives the audience an unusual egg nog recipe, while Dave answers the question, ""Where did Hanukkah come from?"" by stating it that was named after a nice man named Steve Hanukkah.
Episode 71
1998-12-21
The latest roll call mentions ""Gus, who guy who owns property onstage"" and ""Tony Randall as Ricky, the stagehand who looks like Regis Philbin.""
Episode 72
1998-12-22
Dave refunds $50 to an audience lady with a Late Show sweatshirt; a Joe G's customer appears in the hastily-produced film trailer for the faux movie ""Badge of Honor III""; ten department store Santas present the Top Ten; Jessye Norman featuring Harry Huff sing ""Go Tell It To The Mountain.""
Episode 73
1998-12-23
Soon-to-be-traded Yankees pitcher David Wells sits in the audience; the first of tonight's two Top Ten Lists is interrupted by a claymation segment with Dave and Santa; Cissy Houston and Roberta Flack join Darlene Love and Bette Sussman for their annual presentation of ""Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home).""
Episode 74
1998-12-28
Dave talks about the recent successes of the New York Jets, so Harold Larkin goes outside to alter the ""Jets Suck"" graffiti on the wall; Biff keeps changing sweatshirts; ten beautiful women present the Top Ten.
Episode 75
1998-12-29
Bisbee, North Dakota is investigated in the latest edition of ""Biff Henderson's America.""
Episode 76
1998-12-30
Throughout the night, Chicago announcer ""Ray Clay"" fills in for Alan, making inane announcements and usurping the Top Ten from Dave. Also, a Late Show tradition is born when Jay Thomas shows Jets QB Vinny Testaverde how to throw a football at the top of the Christmas tree.
Episode 77
1998-12-31
Kamarr the Discount Magician makes one last appearance.
Episode 78
1999-01-01
Jon Voight promotes two films, ""Enemy of the State"" and ""Varsity Blues.""
Episode 79
1999-01-04
Biff pretends to stand in Times Square again, this time reporting about the weather. Also, Sarah Jessica Parker promotes the second season of ""Sex & The City.""
Episode 80
1999-01-05
Biff just can't get enough of the green screen in the hallway; tonight's participant in ""Please Stop Calling Me Monty"" jams with the band; Dave chats with child actor Liam Aiken.
Episode 81
1999-01-06
It's time for ""How Many Guys in Mouse Suits Can Fit into a Dunkin' Donuts?"" We never find out the exact number, though they do bring back doughnuts.
Episode 82
1999-01-07
Dave announces the new name of the show will be ""David Letterman's Countdown to the Millennium."" Also, the show profiles audience member ""Spencer Alderson"" (Leonard) of Sweden.
Episode 83
1999-01-08
""David Letterman's Countdown to the Millennium,"" Day 2: Paul declares that he will mention a millennium-related fun fact every day for the rest of the year. Also, Jon Stewart promotes the recently overhauled talk show ""The Daily Show.""
Episode 84
1999-01-11
Sitting in with the CBS Orchestra tonight: the shirtless guy who was the ""T"" in ""Jets"" at last night's game. Also, The Black Crowes performs ""By Your Side.""
Episode 85
1999-01-12
During ""Small Town News,"" Dave sports a paper mustache.
Episode 86
1999-01-13
Tonight's ""Paul Shaffer Millennium Prediction"": health spas will not charge deposits. Upon hearing this, Dave wishes people would stop using the phrase ""happy camper."" Also, Dave goes a somewhat lengthy discourse about the Late Night show before introducing Conan O'Brien, while the latest episode of ""Next Time Bring Your Sister, You Hump"" goes on location to The Candy Store.
Episode 87
1999-01-14
William Baldwin promotes ""Virus,"" while Biff rescues Dave's coffee mug after it falls over.
Episode 88
1999-01-15
Mailbag: Tony mentions he's taken up acting, then shows two remarkably similar clips from Patch Adams and Shakespeare In Love. Also, NBA head honcho David Stern presents the Top Ten.
Episode 89
1999-01-25
Episode 90
1999-01-26
Dave says a focus group doesn't like his ""Countdown to the Millennium"" segment, so Paul gives one last fact: ""Danny Aiello will get another series."" Rather than bow down in defeat, Dave introduces a segment called ""Shark Week,"" which actually started the previous night. The premise is that Dave and Paul try to talk about sharks, but quickly come to realize that they know almost nothing about them, and change the topic.
Episode 91
1999-01-27
Dave and Paul discuss William Wood Lee Shaffer's diapers. Later, Paul interrupts the ""Shark Week"" segment with another Millennium prediction: ""The new black… will be black.""
Episode 92
1999-01-28
Biff shows up with a tie for a ""Know Your Current Events"" contestant; Bill Murray promotes Rushmore and serenades Dave.
Episode 93
1999-01-29
Dave announces he and Paul are trying to establish a video nexus; during Mailibag, Anton falls down an elevator shaft, while Paul and Dave shoot Regis with paintballs; ten firefighters present the Top Ten.
Episode 94
1999-02-01
It's the seventeenth anniversary of Dave's debut in late night, and what is he going to do to celebrate the milestone? ""Absolutely nothing."" Also, Tony Randall reports from yesterday's Super Bowl XXXIII, while Dave offers to sing the national anthem at next year's game.
Episode 95
1999-02-02
Dave mentions that through the wonders of science, Paul Shaffer had another baby over the weekend, and then introduces Bernard Shaffer in the green room; during ""Who Asked For It?"", an audience member demands to see something related to Groundhog Day, so ""a groundhog"" (Gerard) walks onstage and harasses Dave; Catherine Bell promotes J.A.G.
Episode 96
1999-02-03
Dave and Paul spend ten minutes discussing the new and improved ""Late Show"" home site; Dave chats with ""John Elway"" (Gerard) after the star quarterback is last minute no-show; Creed performs a garbled rendition of their hit ""Take Me Higher.""
Episode 97
1999-02-04
Dave reads about Bucknell University for a ""KYCE"" participant; Laetitia Casta is interviewed twice.
Episode 98
1999-02-05
Nile Rogers fills in for both Felicia and Will Lee, who are both sick; Martha Stewart has some fun with a batch of pinecones.
Episode 99
1999-02-08
""Biff Henderson's America"" makes a quick stop in Baker, Nevada. Also, Dave chats with the Reverend and Mrs. John Cobb, who tell their incredible story of how they met after a mailed marriage proposal never came through.
Episode 100
1999-02-09
Dave chats with (live via satellite) Al at Prestige Luggage Company in Dallas. Dave is so fascinated by him that the segment runs for almost fifteen minutes, and later Al presents #1 on the Top Ten list.
Episode 101
1999-02-10
Dave rants about the internet, while Bob Borden literally searches for a valentine.
Episode 102
1999-02-11
Orlando Antigua of the Harlem Globetrotters helps out during ""Know Your Current Events,"" while Sandra Bullock promotes Forces of Nature.
Episode 103
1999-02-12
Dave discusses signature sign-offs and announces his new one will be ""Keep a light coat of oil on it""; during Mailbag, Gerard discusses nudity in film and gets distracted by his speech very easily; Richard Simmons flies around a la Cupid before his interview, but storms off after Dave kisses Nadine and the Mailbag Girl.
Episode 104
1999-02-15
Tonight marks the debut of ""Alan Kalter's Secret Word."" Tonight's utterance: ""gristle."" Also, racing star Jeff Gordon presents the Top Ten, while Dave gives the blue cards for the ""What They'll Be Doing Next"" segment to Corky Ramirez to send to the comedy museum.
Episode 105
1999-02-16
Lou Soloff of Blood, Sweat and Tears sits in with the horn section; Alan's secret word is ""magnesium""; Dave chats with champion figure skater Tara Lipinski.
Episode 106
1999-02-17
The secret word is ""mongoose""; ten West Point cadet presents the Top Ten; Julian Lennon performs The Beatles' ""Don't Let Me Down.""
Episode 107
1999-02-18
The secret word is ""hydraulic""; Dave gives a photographer in the audience a Polaroid to shoot pictures during the show; Jake Gyllenhaal plugs October Sky.
Episode 108
1999-02-19
The secret word is ""buttress""; during Mailbag, Dave and Linda Tripp appear on $25,000 Pyramid; ten hot dog vendors present the Top Ten.
Episode 109
1999-02-22
Dave takes five minutes to comment on the sudden death of Gene Siskel, then shows a clip from his last appearance on the show; Alan interrupts to show everybody his gritty new 10-10-346 ad; Dave claims that if you want to hear #1 of the ""Top Ten Mike Tyson Complaints About TV,"" you have to go to his web site.
Episode 110
1999-02-23
Alan's secret word is ""bobcat,"" and the jackpot now stands at ""seven hundred damn dollars!"" Also, Kreskin participates in a new game called ""North Dakota/South Dakota,"" where he must correctly guess which state a mystery person is calling from.
Episode 111
1999-02-24
The secret word is ""barnacle;"" Dave answers a phone call from Sweden; in a segment about the hype surrounding Star Wars Episode One, George Clarke impersonates Mark Hamill.
Episode 112
1999-02-25
The secret word is ""corpuscular."" Meanwhile, Dave chats with Homer Hickam, the NASA shuttle instructor whose life inspired the recent film October Sky.
Episode 113
1999-02-26
The secret word is ""combustible,"" and the stakes have been raised to an even thousand; during Mailbag, Harold Larkin starts bleeding from the neck, which happens to be a common side effect of using Head & Shoulders shampoo; Will Ferrell sings about things at random.
Episode 114
1999-03-01
Episode 115
1999-03-02
The secret word is ""saluki""; live via satellite, the employees of the Unclaimed Baggage Center in Scottsboro, Alabama opens up suitcases; The Roots (featuring Erykah Badu) performs ""You Got Me.""
Episode 116
1999-03-03
Dave rants about tonight's Barbara Walters/Monica Lewinsky interview; the secret word is ""luggage,"" with the grand prize reaching $1300; the latest roll call singles out Tom Cruise's manicurist, Tom Cruise's dressmaker, and ""Tom Cruise"" (Calvert) himself; Dave and Paul comment on the death of Dusty Springfield.
Episode 117
1999-03-04
The secret word is ""viscous,"" while George Miller rants about the media.
Episode 118
1999-03-05
The secret word is ""melancholia,"" while ""Oprah"" (Pat Farmer) flirts with ""John Travolta"" (Kenny Sheehan).
Episode 119
1999-03-22
The secret word is ""lederhosen""; the second-ever ""Alan Kalter's Where Are They Now?"" reveals that Alan Hale, Jr. has been dead for several years now; Don King helps Norm MacDonald promote his new show.
Episode 120
1999-03-23
The secret word is ""Ionosphere,"" with the prize now standing at ""$1700 damn dollars!"" Meanwhile, Gaines awkwardly interrupts Dave's interview with Elizabeth Hurley to answer a question Dave asked Rob Burnett at the start of the show.
Episode 121
1999-03-24
The secret word is ""shipjack""; Dave shows a meat identification kit, complete with photographs of each form of meat; Craig Kilborn promotes his new talk show; Emmylou Harris and a rotund Linda Ronstadt perform Leonard Cohen's ""Sisters of Mercy.""
Episode 122
1999-03-25
The secret word is ""bilious,"" which is coincidental because Dave feels under the weather. Also, Elton John and Leann Rimes perform ""Written in the Stars.""
Episode 123
1999-03-26
Dave bids farewell to Tom Snyder (his last show aired that night), then says get well to Johnny Carson (who had major surgery). Also, the secret word is ""elliptical.""
Episode 124
1999-03-29
Dave hollers about 60 Minutes, then claims that somebody won the Secret Word ""contest"" on Friday; tonight's Secret Word is ""meniscus,"" with the jackpot reduced to a hundred dollars; Blur (featuring the Boys Choir of Harlem) performs ""Coffee & TV.""
Episode 125
1999-03-30
The opening sequence is altered; the secret word is ""taconite""; Dave chats with Sister Carol Anne Corley, a nun who's also a master of fly-fishing.
Episode 126
1999-03-31
The secret word is ""sociopathic,"" while Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn promote the upcoming remake of The Out-of-Towners.
Episode 127
1999-04-01
The secret word is ""nemonurwingy,"" but Dave accuses Alan of making it up (which he did), so he changes it to ""balloon."" Also, after The Corrs perform, Dave decides that ""Corrs"" must be Irish for ""babes.""
Episode 128
1999-04-02
Charlie Daniels sits in on fiddle; the secret word is ""mahagony""; comedian/commentator Greg Fitzsimmons remarks on domestic life.
Episode 129
1999-04-05
The secret word is ""flange""; Dave holds up a certificate that makes Late Show the ""Official Late Night Talk Show of the Millennium""; Biff annoys Yankees players during his 2nd annual trip to their Spring Training camp in Florida; Lyle Lovett and Willie Nelson, with a little help from Kris Kristofferson, perform a memorable duet.
Episode 130
1999-04-06
The secret word is ""millipede""; right after the second-ever edition of ""Know Your Cuts of Meat,"" Dave calls one of the previous owners of his Meat Identification Kit.
Episode 131
1999-04-07
Throughout the night, local teens with learner's permits parallel park on 53rd Street. At the end of the show, Dave attempts parallel parking and nearly embarrasses himself.
Episode 132
1999-04-08
The secret word is ""ischemia,"" while SNL star Molly Shannon promotes Never Been Kissed.
Episode 133
1999-04-09
Paul makes his second ""Countdown to the Millennium"" prediction since the designation: ""Everybody's going to take out a lot of cash. Forget about the cash."" Also, Dave calls Jay Leno ""a hump,"" then ponders what it would be like if Jesus was a guest on the show.
Episode 134
1999-04-12
Paul announces celebrities will come by all evening to wish Dave a happy birthday, and for some strange reason Martha Stewart drops by three times; the secret word is ""diplopia""; to settle an argument, Dave shows the audience a map of the Panama Canal.
Episode 135
1999-04-13
The secret word is ""hegemony,"" and Dave doubles the current jackpot from $1100 to $2200; Kathie Lee Gifford sings Dave a late happy birthday song, and later he shows a clip of her left buttock mysteriously sagging as she walked offstage; Kevin Spacey enters the stage on an electric scooter.
Episode 136
1999-04-14
The secret word is ""quadricentennial,"" and after doubling the stakes on last night's show, Dave ""raises"" them to an even hundred million; on a variation of a recurring bit, Biff goes out in traffic, harassing people with a bullhorn; Dave increases the jackpot again to $150,000,000; Darrell Hammond does his trademark Clinton impression.
Episode 137
1999-04-15
Dave mentions the sudden and untimely death of Bill Wendell; the secret word is ""Melon""; with no clip available, Biff and David Spade reenact a scene from his new movie Lost & Found; Tim Couch of the Kentucky Wildcats (and later the Cleveland Browns) and Dave throw a football into a exact same taxi window; Dave mistakenly refers to the show as ""Late Night.""
Episode 138
1999-04-16
A technical difficulty turns Dave's face and tie blue during the monologue; the secret word is ""tubular""; during Mailbag, Dave shows us the video guide ""Biff Henderson's How to Become a Chick Magnet.""
Episode 139
1999-04-26
Dave discusses the various bars and/or grills that have been next door to the theater, and wishes the best of luck to its current incarnation, The Manhattan Chili Company; the secret word is ""kitty""; Paul gets spun off into his own talk show, during which he has a (bogus) heart-to-heart with Monica Lewinsky; Dave has a sample of the chili.
Episode 140
1999-04-27
Dave claims there was a secret word winner last night, then brings out Connecticut housewife ""Marlene DiBenedetto""; the secret word is ""hat,"" with the jackpot going back down to a hundred damn dollars; Dave makes another shout-out to the Manhattan Chili Company.
Episode 141
1999-04-28
The secret word is ""boat""; Paul, Felecia, Will, and Sid perform ""Songs for Pedestrians""; Ted Danson lurks in the backdrop during Dave's chat with Mary Steenburgen.
Episode 142
1999-04-29
The secret word is ""carrot,"" and Dave introduces another supposed winner (writer and Boston native Jay Johnson); to prove a point, Dave quizzes Paul on a cut of meat; during a new segment called ""Alan's Celebrity Birthday,"" a caption reading ""jackass"" with an arrow pointing at Alan appears on the screen, so Big Red storms off to the control room and punches Jerry.
Episode 143
1999-04-30
In honor of tonight's audience, the backdrop is altered to show the skyline of Miami, Florida; Biff visits a retirement community in Coral Gables; ten Florida residents present the Top Ten, with Dave counting down in Spanish; Dave eats suntan lotion.
Episode 144
1999-05-03
Dave claims he's filed a $100 million lawsuit against the surgeon general; Dave pays an attractive audience member $200 for saying tonight's secret word (""thimble""); Robbie Williams performs ""Millennium.""
Episode 145
1999-05-04
The secret word is ""incinerate""; Paul Fiore tries to parallel-park outside; Dave chats with a twelve-year-old girl who wants to save the dying art of ice cream trucks.
Episode 146
1999-05-05
The secret word is ""undershirt""; Dave shows (bogus) footage of Roberto Benigni making an ass of himself at the Country Music Awards; World Bass fishing champ Denny Brauer is bumped up after Jesse Jackson's limo arrives late.
Episode 147
1999-05-06
Cold opening: Jesse Jackson makes an insincere apology to Dave for his tardiness in last night's show. Also, ""Marlene DiBenedetto"" (Jude Brennan) wins the secret word again, and the Hi-Ho girls present the $200 check.
Episode 148
1999-05-07
In honor of tonight's travel-weary audience (everybody's from Nashville), Biff hangs out at the Grand Ole Opry while Nashville Predators captain Tom Fitzgerald presents the Top Ten.
Episode 149
1999-05-10
The secret word is ""ball""; an audience member is stifled by a barbershop quartet in the latest edition of ""Who Asked For It?""; a dog gets injured during ""Stupid Pet Tricks,"" prompting Dave to keep on eye on him in the green room.
Episode 150
1999-05-11
Thirteen-year-old blues phenomenon Ben Robinson sits in; the secret word is ""stick""; Bob Borden walks onstage to hype his new catchphrase: ""Next time bring your sister, you hump.""
Episode 151
1999-05-12
Dave makes a nonsense rant about Barry Manilow; the secret word is ""winky""; during ""Dave's Record Collection,"" Tony goes berserk over a comment made by Dave, and he gets thrown out by Bill DeLace.
Episode 152
1999-05-13
Dave bring out the seven supposed winners of last night's secret word contest (including Mike McIntee and the Stangel brothers); tonight's secret word is ""scooter""; an audience member from Florida plays Paul's piano is lieu of ""Know Your Current Events""; teen actress Leelee Sobieski promotes the CBS miniseries Joan of Arc.
Episode 153
1999-05-14
With tonight's audience being from the City of Brotherly Love, Biff heads to Philly to get in training a la Rocky. For his efforts, he is given a medal by Philadelphia Mayor Edward Rendell and Sylvester Stallone's brother Frank.
Episode 154
1999-05-17
The secret word is ""molar,"" while Dave measures Julia Roberts' waist.
Episode 155
1999-05-18
Dave calls Aloha Meats in Honolulu to see if they answer the phone by saying ""aloha""; the secret word is ""polymer""; Dave and Shecky hang out with a Star Wars fan; Aretha Franklin attempts to sing ""Nessun Dorma.""
Episode 156
1999-05-19
The secret word is ""turf""; various members of the staff appear in a series of film promos, including Biff in Eyes Wide Shut; a recently clean-shaven Tom Selleck is treated to a video tribute to his facial hair.
Episode 157
1999-05-20
The secret word is ""Alan""; Dave shows a one dollar bill folded so it would be shaped like a ring, courtesy of a ""Know Your Current Events"" participant; Helen Hunt promotes the final episode of Mad About You.
Episode 158
1999-05-21
Tonight's audience hails from Boston, Massachusetts. The backdrop, as always, is altered to resemble the Beantown skyline; Dave shows various great moments in Red Sox history, showing Carlton Fisk's 1975 World Series homer three times; Bill DeLace impersonates a hot dog vendor a remote Top Ten; Nomar Garciaparra walks across the stage to a Standing O; Natalie Portman promotes Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace.
Episode 159
1999-05-24
Dave goes on a fury as to what constitutes the dinners given as prizes during ""Know Your Current Events""; the secret word is ""announcer""; Dave Dorsett doodles on a camera; Tony ruins the ending of the new ""Star Wars"" prequel in Spanish.
Episode 160
1999-05-25
Dave tries calling Hawaii again; the secret word is ""asparagus""; Kate Capshaw tries to call her vacationing husband (Steven Spielberg) in Hawaii but she gets a busy signal; Britney Spears performs ""…Baby One More Time.""
Episode 161
1999-05-26
Anton is again introduced as Buddy Rich, Jr.; Paul pays $102,000,000 for a ticket to see the new ""Star Wars"" prequel; Dave shows Sarah Jessica Parker a recent clip of Matthew Broderick chatting on the show with his fly open.
Episode 162
1999-05-27
Jay Johnson wins the secret word ""contest"" again; throughout the night, Lou Rawls sits in the green room; tonight's secret word is ""litmus""; Everlast performs ""Ends.""
Episode 163
1999-05-28
The secret word is ""bituminous""; Lou Rawls continues to lounge in the green room; during Mailbag, ""Billy Blanks"" (Gerard) gives a rather half-hearted demonstration of Tae-Bo.
Episode 164
1999-06-07
Tonight's secret word (""emetic"") is now sponsored by a lawn-watering device called ""Hosie Cow""; Biff stands outside holding a popsicle in one hand and a Creamsicle® in the other, determining which will melt first (the popsicle); Dave chats with Nancy Mace, the first female graduate of The Citadel.
Episode 165
1999-06-08
The Hosie Cow Secret Word is ""escarpment""; Dave plays a new game at Joe G's where a contestant must start a conversation and brings up the weather within sixty seconds (he won); Snoop Dogg plugs his new album.
Episode 166
1999-06-09
The Hosie Cow Secret Word is ""whippy""; last night's winner ""Barbara Sanchez"" (Jude Brennan) is presented with $400 and a fully functional Hosie Cow; Alan imagines what effect Y2K will have on the country.
Episode 167
1999-06-10
After appearing in an ad for Hosie Cow, Alan announces that the secret word is ""inflammation."" Also, Tony nominee Brian Dennehy presents the Top Ten.
Episode 168
1999-06-11
Edgar Winter sits in; the Hosie Cow Secret Word is ""dick""; Heather Graham promotes Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.
Episode 169
1999-06-14
The Hosie Cow Secret Word is ""amputation""; the latest roll call introduces Biff's pint-size clone ""Mini-Biff"" and Calvert dressed up as a Hosie Cow; Tim Robbins promotes Arlington Road.
Episode 170
1999-06-15
The Hosie Cow Secret Word is ""dick"" again, but it's eventually changed to ""bunny."" Also, Dave has another one of his long-winded chats (via satellite) with the Preston Luggage Company in Dallas, where he lets a customer set his own price (five dollars) for a snazzy carry-on bag.
Episode 171
1999-06-16
The Hosie Cow Secret Word is ""pigment,"" while Dave chats (and becomes infatuated) with Brandi Chastain of the US Women's World Cup Soccer Team.
Episode 172
1999-06-17
Al Gore appears on ""The Paul Shaffer Show""; The Hosie Cow Secret Word is ""tourniquet""; Mike Myers promotes Austin Powers 2.
Episode 173
1999-06-18
Anton is introduced as Buddy Rich Jr., the ""bastard son"" of the legendary jazz drummer; Hosie Cow makes a cameo in the new Austin Powers movie; the Hosie Cow Secret Word is ""whipknockvonwhipknocky,"" but Dave forces Alan to change it to ""newt.""
Episode 174
1999-06-21
The secret word (""rodeo"") is now sponsored by Larry King, whom according to Alan ""looks like an owl""; ""Rita Buttgas"" (Jude Brennan) is introduced as the latest winner of the faux contest; Pat Farmer comments on the NBA Finals from backstage; Andy Dick starts cutting his hair in mid-interview, and afterwards a very annoyed Kenny Sheehan breaks out the dust-buster.
Episode 175
1999-06-22
The Larry King Secret Word is ""gabardine,"" and is followed by stock footage of four baby owls devouring a rat. Also, Dave shows the audience an autographed photo of the US Women's World Cup Soccer Team in Late Show, and stops the show several times to ogle the ladies.
Episode 176
1999-06-23
Jimmy Vaughan sits in; the Larry King Secret Word is ""entropic""; after an unusually aimless edition of ""New for Summer,"" Dave asks Paul, ""What is happening to this show?""
Episode 177
1999-06-24
The Larry King Secret Word is ""linguine."" Also, to counteract with Hillary Clinton's recent decision to run for the US Senate in New York, Mayor Giuliani announces that he's running for the same office in Arkansas.
Episode 178
1999-06-25
The Larry King Secret Word is ""peptide""; Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas of Matchbox Twenty perform ""Smooth.""
Episode 179
1999-06-28
Tonight's Secret Word (""bird"") is brought to you by David Letterman's Women's World Cup Soccer Team, in honor of his latest celebrity crush. Quote Alan: ""They're hotter than a dancing bobcat with its ass on fire!"" Also, during a slideshow bit called ""Celebrity Summer Plans,"" Vinnie Magliulo reports live via satellite from Caesar's Palace giving the odds on the audience response to the jokes.
Episode 180
1999-06-29
The World Cup Soccer Team Secret Word is ""oozing""; Montana park ranger (and past winner) ""Rita Buttgas"" (Jude Brennan) is announced as the winner of the Secret Word Tournament of Champions; Dave picks a fly out of his coffee.
Episode 181
1999-06-30
The Larry King/Women's Soccer Secret Word is ""peripatetic""; a bird caller from Piedmont, California does a drumroll for Dave; after a brief discussion over the difference between a mesa and a butte, Rob Burnett makes a quirky legal pad doodle that settles the issue once and for all.
Episode 182
1999-07-01
The Larry King/Women's Soccer Secret Word is ""highoeyazmuhoodhee""; Calista Flockhart's chat with Dave is interrupted by visions of the dancing baby from Ally McBeal busting a move with George Clarke; Bill DeLace poses as a Little League umpire for a remote Top Ten list.
Episode 183
1999-07-02
The Larry King/Women's Soccer Secret Word is ""pony""; during Mailbag, Biff, Kenny, and Dave Dorsett brag about their latest female conquests; John Leguizamo promotes Summer of Sam.
Episode 184
1999-07-05
Dave shows footage of a taxi literally crashing the staff cookout out on 53rd Street; with temperatures hovering over 100 degrees, Biff dares to go outside and fry an egg on the sidewalk; Dan Quayle joins Larry King and the Women's Soccer Team as a sponsor of Alan's Secret Word (""one hot mother****er""); Tony Randall drops by to eat the egg.
Episode 185
1999-07-06
An audience member attempts to button Dave's jacket; the Dan Quayle/Larry King/Women's Soccer Secret Word is ""neoprene""; throughout the night, Biff stands next to a 45-pound block of ice on the sidewalk, giving Dave updates on its melting status; Sixpence None the Richer performs ""Kiss Me.""
Episode 186
1999-07-07
Dave replies to a Zagat's survey; the Women's Soccer Secret Word is ""pestilence,"" with the Dan Quayle/Larry King Secret Word Jackpot standing at ""Thirteen hundred damn dollars!""; Oliver Platt promotes Lake Placid.
Episode 187
1999-07-08
The Secret Word is ""prick,"" with the stock footage of the baby owls eating the rat joining an already crowded group of sponsors; John Mayall sits in; Jason Biggs promotes American Pie.
Episode 188
1999-07-09
Dave points out that Paul is dressed from head to toe in white tonight, including a snazzy top hat; during Mailbag, The Guy on Fire is profiled on ""Biff Henderson's Where Are They Now?""; Lucinda Williams performs ""Concrete on Barbed Wire.""
Episode 189
1999-07-19
The Larry King/Dan Quayle Secret Word is ""sphygmomanometer""; Dave briefly comments on the passing of JFK Jr.; Dave Mirra does bicycle stunts on 53rd Street, but after he has to cut it short due to rain, he pops wheelies inside the theater.
Episode 190
1999-07-20
The Dan Quayle/Larry King Secret Word is ""pie""; Dave finally meets the entire U.S. Women's World Cup champion soccer team, though Mia Hamm and Brandi Chastain do most of the talking; ""Rita Buttgas"" is introduced as the first Secret Word three-time winner; Dave asks Paul if they can trade the horn section for the soccer team.
Episode 191
1999-07-21
The Hillary Clinton/Larry King Secret Word is ""mommy""; Dave asks a question to Einstein's Brain (voice of Alan Kalter); perfect game winner David Cone presents the Top Ten.
Episode 192
1999-07-22
The Hillary Clinton/Larry King Secret Word is ""meehnkee""; Dave ""performs"" at Woodstock '99, then declares that Limp Bizkit kicks ass; Buzz Aldrin drops by to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the moon landing.
Episode 193
1999-07-23
Paul asks what the point of the Secret Word is, and after it's revealed (""throb""), Dave replies with ""I'm tired of being held hostage by your psychotic delusions."" Also, Mujibur and Sirajul preview the new Alan Kalter dart board, and Alan punches them.
Episode 194
1999-07-26
Paul complains about the heat at Woodstock '99; Dave brags about Max Pappas and Team Rahal (a sign of things to come); Ted Koppel's evil twin Kenny is caught hosting Nightline in lieu of his more well-known brother.
Episode 195
1999-07-27
Buckwheat Zydeco (nee Stanley Durrell) sits in on accordion; throughout the night, Shark the border collie chases Frisbees on 53rd Street; film director Garry Marshall plugs Runaway Bride.
Episode 196
1999-07-28
Biff helps out pedestrians walking on 53rd Street; Dave asks Paul about project identification; Pete Townshend and Eddie Vedder perform ""Behind Blue Eyes.""
Episode 197
1999-07-29
""Paul Shaffer's Countdown to the Millennium"" makes its triumphant return to the Late Show, and is now sponsered by Hillary Clinton and Larry King. Tonight's forecast: ""In the new millennium, people will freak out.""
Episode 198
1999-07-30
Dave chats with Tour de France winner and cancer survivor Lance Armstrong; Paul's latest prediction: ""No more lox and bagels""; Sheryl Crow performs ""The Difficult Kind.""
Episode 199
1999-08-02
It's a very special night as Jim Jeter is about to log his one millionth mile on his 1982 Toyota Starlet. After reaching the milestone, Dave buys him a new used car.
Episode 200
1999-08-03
Dave takes the outside cam to Joe G's for another round of ""Stop Calling Me Kitty.""
Episode 201
1999-08-04
Dave shows the audience some stuff he bought on his recent vacation in a segment called ""Travel Souvenirs."" Later, ""Newsradio"" star Dave Foley promotes the movie ""Dick.""
Episode 202
1999-08-05
Dave repeatedly shows footage of the Taco Bell chihuahua saying ""funkalicious."" Later, Dave and William H. Macy drink Tang spiked with Jack Daniels.
Episode 203
1999-08-06
During CBS Mailbag, Alan punches Dave. Later, Dave's former ""Starland Vocal Band Hour"" co-star Jeff Altman looks back at his tumultous television career.
Episode 204
1999-08-09
Paul refers to Regis as a bastard, only for the ""Millionaire"" host to retaliate.
Episode 205
1999-08-10
Kreskin's knowledge of 70's backup singers is tested in a segment called ""Commodore or Pip?"" Later, Smash Mouth performs their smash hit ""All-Star.""
Episode 206
1999-08-11
Dave announces that a crack in the building next door caused a temporary evacuation of the theater. Later, The Mavericks perform ""There Goes My Heart.""
Episode 207
1999-08-12
Dave takes up an offering for a preacher who played ""Who Your Deer Repellants.""
Episode 208
1999-08-13
During CBS Mailbag, Inky Mendez announces his candidacy for the US Senate, while Dave chats with ""Hillary Clinton"" (Gerard).
Episode 209
1999-08-16
A shirtless Vince DeMentri interviews people on the street, asking them what they think of Hillary Clinton. Later, Katie Holmes promotes ""Dawson's Creek.""
Episode 210
1999-08-17
Dave announces that tonight, ""We're going to have good old-fashioned fun"": all night, Richard Egan stands on 53rd St. guessing the weight of passersby.
Episode 211
1999-08-18
Terence Blanchard sits in with the band, while Olympic diver Kathy Pesek does a demonstration for the audience (via telephone).
Episode 212
1999-08-19
Dave announces that tonight is the premiere of ""Late Show Who Wants to be a Billionaire?"" Tonight's first question: ""Who took over for the 'Brady Bunch' father after the original actor was arrested and imprisoned for the grisly kidnap and murder of the show's wardrobe designer?"" The answer: Dennis Weaver.
Episode 213
1999-08-20
Dave announces that after 6 years and 1,278 shows on CBS, he now wants to be called ""Daddy""; Alan beats up Regis during CBS Mailbag; Albert Brooks makes a phone call to his pet parrot.