TV season

Season 7

2005-01-17

Episodes

Episode 1

Brad Sherwood

2005-01-17 • 22 min

The crisis for the Superheroes is no ceramics, with Brad as Tom Arnold, Ryan as Guy Who Channels the Spirits of Farm Animals, Colin as Captain Streaker, and Wayne as Man Who Mimics Everyone While On Caffeine; Film Dub is one day at the doctor's office; a body odor Infomercial; Brad hosts Party Quirks with a high-energy android who keeps running out of power and recharges by kissing someone's head (Wayne), a Russian ballet dancer (Colin), and a series of the world's dumbest criminals caught on tape (Ryan); ""Songs of the Presidents"" in Greatest Hits. Brad wins, so Wayne, Drew, and Ryan sing ""When I Touch Your Kangaroo"" to Australian student Jody in Three-Headed Broadway Star.

Episode 2

Kathy Greenwood

2005-01-17 • 22 min

Kathy is the contestant on Let's Make a Date, choosing from Uncle Ernie who's drinking too much and is about to ruin his niece Colin's wedding reception (Wayne), a heroic frog leading ""The Great Escape"" of all the frogs from a French restaurant (Colin), and someone who's founded a cult that worships Colin and he lives his life by Colin's example (Ryan); Two-Line Vocabulary features SWAT team commander Colin and his two agents Wayne (""Is this it?"" and ""I want to go first."") and Ryan (""Should I be doing this?"" and ""What's the point of that?"") about to infiltrate a group of terrorists; Film Dub has Ryan, Colin, and Kathy at a themed restaurant; Sound Effects has audience members Karen and Sharon provide sounds for Ryan and Colin, whom they don't know who's who, as Clark Kent (Ryan) is having an intimate evening with Lois Lane (Colin) when he gets a message that Lex Luthor is subjecting the city to a series of terrors; Show-Stopping Number at a bank for everyone but Kathy. Wayne wins, so t

Episode 3

Greg Proops

2005-01-24 • 22 min

The show opens with the bitter divorce Award Show, then Colin is Noah announcing he's eaten all the animals during a Press Conference. Then, it's an infomercial to stop being drunk. After that, it's Sound Effects with Ryan and Colin being two musketeers and an Irish Drinking Song about first cars. Greg wins, so everyone else plays Props.

Episode 4

Chip Esten

2005-01-24 • 22 min

Weird Newscasters: Colin is the anchor... Chip is the co-anchor and the ""lion from the Wizard of Oz who was given an overactive libido instead of courage"". Wayne is on sports and is a ""desparate caveman looking for food, a warm cave and a mate"". Ryan does the weather and ""becomes extremely nervous when he suddenly discovers it's the first day of Ryan hunting season"". Song Styles: Chip and Wayne sing a gospel style song to Mira the Hebrew teacher. Whose Line: Buffy the vampire slayer (Colin) has come to kill Count Dracula (Ryan). Greatest Hits: The Songs of Rome. Irish Drinking Song: All about falling out of a car on a date. There is no winner... it's a four-way tie... so they all read the credits as trash-talking basketball players.

Episode 5

Chip Esten

2005-01-31 • 22 min

Song Titles has the four at an office Christmas party. In Duet, Chip and Wayne sing to Lily the Crossing Guard as the Backstreet Boys. In Action Replay, Wayne and Chip are two campers getting dressed in the morning, and discover insects crawled in their clothes. Then, Ryan and Colin perform a different scene using the same body movements. In Greatest Hits, Colin and Ryan sell a compilation album about pregnancy, as sung by Chip and Wayne. No winner is announced, so Wayne, Chip, and Colin sing as a Doo-Wop group about Lola, who died tragicly in a freak golf accident.

Episode 6

Kathy Greenwood

2005-01-31 • 22 min

The show starts with Let's Make A Date. Kathy has to pick from Wayne (a temperamental queen bee gathering nectar from people's faces), Colin (a born to be wild biker chick going from guy to guy to find a new stud to ride behind) and Ryan (having an entire relationship with the stool Colin is sitting on). In Whose Line, Indiana Jones (Ryan) and his feisty female companion (Colin) are trapped in a snake-infested Egyptian tomb and their torches are about to go out. In Dead Bodies, Bosley (Ryan) is being held captive by a beautiful villainess (audience member Kelsey), who is torturing him with sexual seduction when one of Charlie's Angels (Kathy) bursts in to rescue him. Greatest Hits features a 25 CD set of ""Songs of the Fast Food Worker"". Kathy wins, so Drew & Ryan play against Wayne & Colin in Props. Ryan reads the credits pretending he's in later life and his relationship with the stool is on the rocks.

Episode 7

Brad Sherwood

2005-02-07 • 22 min

The studio is cold for Superheroes Cottage Cheese Man (Brad), the Narrowly Escapes Death Kid (Ryan), Captain Salmon (Colin), and Caught in a Wind Tunnel Boy (Wayne); Brad, Colin, and Ryan play If You Know What I Mean as three supermarket employees on the night shift; All in One Voice features ""The First Time We Swam"" with Lucy and Ricky Ricardo (Colin/Wayne and Ryan/Brad respectively); in Film Dub, all four provide voices for a team of suit salesmen trying to make a sale; Cathy and Veena provide Sound Effects for Ryan and Colin, two nervous World War II parachutists are about to go on a mission into occupied France; Scenes from a Hat are ""the curriculum at Hillbilly University,"" ""I didn't know the mic was on,"" and ""nightly bedside prayers of Whose Line cast members."" Colin wins, so it's Brad and Wayne vs. Ryan and Drew in Props.

Episode 8

Chip Esten

2005-02-07 • 22 min

Chip appears on Let's Make a Date, hoping to choose from a mean female wrestler who receives a Valentine and is desperate to find her secret admirer (Wayne), the mad Headless Horseman looking for a hideous head to replace his own (Colin), and a mischievous gargoyle at the top of Notre Dame Cathedral who keeps coming alive to cause trouble (Ryan); ""Film, TV, and Theater Styles"" is Colin is a distraught bride, and Wayne is her angry mother, coming to fashion designer Ryan on the morning of the wedding since the dress doesn't fit, in the styles of MacGyver, soap opera, pyschic network, WWF, Crocodile Hunter, and Antique Roadshow; then a Doo-Wop about Erica, who died tragically in a freak gene-splicing accident; ""Songs of the Lunchlady"" in Greatest Hits, with hillbilly (""Aprons, Hairnets, and Knee-Highs"") and punk (""Don't Want Your Milk!""). Colin wins, so it's Chip and Wayne vs. Ryan and Drew in Props.

Episode 9

Chip Esten

2005-02-14 • 22 min

Game 1: Let's Make A Date Contestant - Chip Bachelor #1 - Wayne: Cheesy Mexican Troubadour Who Sings Unbelievably Insulting Songs About The People He Serenades Bachelor #2 - Colin: Panicking Dutch Peasant Who Thinks The Openings In People's Faces Are Leaky Holes In A Dyke Bachelor #3 - Ryan: Recently Out-Of-The-Closet Robin Hood Selecting His Band Of Merry Men & Taking Them To Rob The Rich Game 2: Whose Line Scene: King Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette must escape the angry Frech mob or face the guilloutine. Colin as Marie Antoinette: ""Get your eyeballs out of my cleavage!"" Ryan as King Louis XVI: ""You are the weakest link. Goodbye!"" ""Everybody Wang Chung tonight!"" Game 3: Scenes From A Hat If a Fear Factor episode was done for celebrities The world's dumbest criminals being caught in the act. Slogans on T-Shirts worn by George W. Bush. What you think your fellow cast memebers should title their autobiographies. Game 4: Song Titles Game 5: Doo-Wop Chip, Way

Episode 10

Greg Proops

2005-02-14 • 22 min

Game 1: Hollywood Director Colin directs Ryan as an Old West engineer driving a train carrying gold bullion, Wayne as a bandit trying to rob it, and Greg as the whip wielding Southern owner of the train who comes in to save the day. He suggests: Hong Kong action film where the actors are doing their own subtitles. As much sexual innuendo as possible. Game 2: Scenes From A Hat Bad times to be distracted by a beautiful woman. Making mundane instructions sound sexy. What President Bush does in the Oval Office when he's all by himself. Things You Can Say About The Food You Eat, but, not about your girlfriend. Game 3: African Chant Audience member Julia teaches dance lessons to Wayne and the rest of the gang. Game 4: Sound Effects Audience members Lola and Mimi help out Ryan and Colin, who are James Bond and his beautiful accomplice, Tiffany, who are attacked by enemy agents when they settle down for an intimate moment at a chalet. Game 5: Fashion Models Greg is comment

Episode 11

Greg Proops

2005-02-21 • 22 min

In Superheroes, the crisis is no more shaving cream for Not Hot But Spicy Man (Greg), Ridicules People Behind Their Back Boy (Ryan), Captain Panic (Colin), and Malfunctioning Robot Doctor (Wayne). Ryan and Colin are training to be firemen in Hey You Down There, with Greg narrating. Colin directs Hollywood Director, with a vampire bat (Ryan) who flies into the bedroom of a mouthy college girl (Wayne), who is showering and getting ready for a date. After Ryan transforms into Count Dracula, Professor Van Helesing (Greg) kicks down the door to confront him. In Two Line Vocabulary, Colin, Wayne, and Ryan are three soldiers caught in a foxhole under enemy fire. Colin can say anything. Ryan can only say ""Do you want a piece of this?"" and ""You remind me of my mother when you do that"". Wayne can only say ""Is that what I think it is?"" and ""I don't think so"". In Scene to Rap the four rap in Jurassic Park. Greg wins, so Wayne (translated by Colin) and Drew (translated by Ryan) act out the Swahili

Episode 12

Kathy Greenwood

2005-02-21 • 22 min

Let's Make a Date has Kathy choosing from Wayne, the Hyenas from ""The Lion King"", Colin, a sensitive teenage French Canadian nerd (paraphrased), and Ryan, a Lounge Singer on the Titanic (paraphrased) Sound Effects with Ryan as Indiana Jones and Colin as his sassy female sidekick on a quest for lost treasure Motown Group with Wayne, Colin, and Ryan singing ""Do the Park Ranger"" Helping Hands has married man Ryan (with Colin's arms) has invited his secretary, Kathy, for lunch to ""proposition her"" Foreign Film Dub is the Italian action film, ""Killer Spagetti"" with Ryan translating for kathy and Colin for Kathy Credit Reading has Ryan as the lounge singer from Let's Make a Date

Episode 13

Kathy Greenwood

2005-02-28 • 22 min

In Hollywood Director Ryan plays a hunky plumber who has just finished installing a shower... when frisky housewife, Kathy, insists on testing it with him. Kathy's outraged mother, Wayne, makes a dramatic entrance and catches them in the act. The suggestions they're given by the director, Colin, are ""like fast-talking gansters from a 40's film noir"", ""like you have giant butts"" and ""like a violent, slow-motion shoot-out"". The Three-Headed Broadway Star song is called ""Can't Stop Thinking About Your Pants"" and is sung by Wayne, Ryan & Colin to Gillian. Scenes From A Hat subjects are ""what the Queen of England is really saying to the people in the greeting line"", ""what Lassie was really trying to tell everyone"", ""people you wouldn't want to go on an intergalactic flight with"", ""if adults settled disputes the way kids do"" and ""if songs were written about life's most embarassing moments"". The Helping Hands scene has Kathy visiting her Austrian penpal (Ryan) and he's trying to impress

Episode 14

Jeff Davis

2005-03-07 • 22 min

Number of Words is a scene from ""The Mummy"", Egyption Guide, Jeff (four words), and Fiesty Female Archeologist, Colin (two words), open up a tomb, releasing the evil Mummy, Wayne (three words). Then, dashing adventurer, Ryan (five words), comes to rescue them. Jeff and Wayne sing a Rat Pack Duet to Angela the Yoga Instructor Colin and Ryan sell a snoring aide in Infomercial In Scenes From a Hat, the four act out ""Foreign Remakes of American TV Shows"", ""Ads Where the Product and the Style Don't Match"", and ""Inoffensive words that immature people are prone to snicker at"" Wayne plays the title role in Bartender. Jeff is in love with dogs. Colin is angry that his pogo stick broke. Ryan is colour-blind. Colin wins, so it's Drew and Ryan vs Wayne and Jeff in Props

Episode 15

Brad Sherwood

2005-03-14 • 22 min

In Questionable Impressions, the four are at a police station. Brad and Wayne sing to Bill the Liquor Clerk as REM in Duet. In Sound Effects, audience members Giselle and Jenny provide the sound effects for Farmer Ryan and Wife Colin are rounding up their animals because of an approaching storm, when they are amazed to see a UFO approaching. In Greatest Hits, Colin and Ryan sell Songs of Las Vegas, as sung by Wayne and Brad. Brad wins, so the others sing the Doctor Hoedown.

Episode 16

Kathy Greenwood

2005-03-21 • 22 min

In Let's Make A Date Kathy is the contestant. Wayne is a ""mission impossible agent lowering himself into a room to retrieve secret microfilm in Colin & Ryan's pants pockets"". Colin is ""having passionate secret affairs with Wayne & Ryan's shoes but must decide between them"". Ryan is a ""comedian who is bound & strapped to a time bomb that counts down whenever the audience isn't laughing"". Really Bad Hangover is next where Kathy & Colin act out a scene where a couple wake up in the morning... and Ryan & Wayne do the amplified hangover sound effects. Scenes From A Hat subjects are ""bad songs to sing while making love"", ""the last thing you would expect to come out of your grandmother's mouth"", ""adults who are still experiencing the terrible two's"" and ""unusual acts performed on talent night at the convent"". In Film Dub Ryan, Kathy & Colin improvise a scene... ""one day at the trailer park"". The Greatest Hits CD set this time is The Songs of the Circus. Wayne wins the show... so Dre

Episode 17

Kathy Greenwood

2005-03-28 • 22 min

[b]Hollywood Director[/b] has Colin directing a foxhunt with the Lady of the Manor, Kathy, who accidently shoots the Sexy Stable Boy, Ryan. As she is removing the buck shot from his rear end, her dashing jealous fiancee, Lord Wayne, rides in with the horses and hounds. In [b]Dubbing[/b], in a 1930's speakeasy, mobster Colin starts hitting on audience member Megan (whose voice is provided by Wayne), the sexy nightclub entertainer. Her boyfriend, rival mobster Ryan, breaks in. In [b]Scenes From a Hat[/b], the quartet performs ""Bad times to take off your pants"", ""Weird things to time"", and ""Unfortunate moments to become nauseous"". [b]Greatest Hits[/b] has Colin and Ryan introducing Songs of Paris, as sung by Wayne. Wayne wins, so everyone else plays [b]Foreign Film Dub[/b]. Drew and Kathy act out the Japanese film, ""Ramen Aplenty"". Ryan translates for Drew and Colin translates for Kathy.

Episode 18

Greg Proops

2005-04-04 • 22 min

In Hollywood Director, Colin directs a scene from ""The Exorcist"", with Wayne as the Possessed Daughter, with Ryan as the Distaught Mother trying to tie her down to the bed, and Greg as the priest. In Remote Control, the topic is cows for Greg as Ricki Lake, Wayne as a Spanish Game Show, Colin as Wrestling Smackdown, and Ryan as the Crocodile Hunter. In Song Styles, Wayne sings to Jill the Volleyball Coach from Calabasas, in the style of Cab Calloway. In

Episode 19

Chip Esten

2005-04-11 • 22 min

In Hollywood Director, Colin directs. College Jock, Chip, and his nagging girlfriend, Ryan, are lost and scared in the woods and take refuge inside a creepy log cabin. Suddenly, Freddy Krueger, Wayne, bursts through the window. In Newsflash Colin reports to Chip and Ryan in front of overweight dancers. Chip hosts Party Quirks with Wayne (Desperate to show off his wrestling skills by challenging all-comers to wrestler on stage with him), Colin (James Bond on an important mission, who has a terrible case of food poisoning), and Ryan (series of purebreds competing at a dog show but easily distracted by the crowd). In Bartender Chip tends to Wayne, who is celebrating puberty, Ryan, who thinks he's a princess, and Colin, who is angry about his divorce. Ryan wins, so he watches Wayne, Drew, Colin, and Chip sing the Affair Hoedown.

Episode 20

Brad Sherwood

2005-04-18 • 22 min

Number of Words is a scene from Star Trek, has Captain Kirk (Ryan, 3 words) has been captured by a Klingon (Wayne, 4 words). Mr. Spock (Brad, 5 words) and Scotty (Colin, 2 words) beam down to the planet to rescue them. Scenes From a Hat has the quartet act out ""Things you don't want to be shouting at a party when the music suddenly stops"", ""Bad things to say or do with someone with a hairy back"", ""Poems about embarrassing moments"", and ""The worst soap opera cliffhanger lines leading into a commercial"". In Dubbing, Colin is an explorer who finds Jane, audience member Rachel (voiced by Brad) in the jungle, taking Cheetah for a walk and tries to pursuade her to return to civilization with him. Suddenly Tarzan, played by Ryan, swings in to reclaim her. Colin and Ryan then sell a Greatest Hits compilation based on TV Detective and Cop Shows, as sung by Brad and Wayne, in the styles of the Rolling Stones, Opera, and a Burlesque Stripper Song. Colin wins, so it's Wayne and Brad vs Ryan and D

Episode 21

Chip Esten

2005-04-25 • 22 min

Let's Make a Date has Chip choose from Wayne (All The Characters from Austin Powers), Colin (Dunk Tank Loudmouth Unknowingly Suspended Above a Pool of Piranha Fish), or Ryan (Series of Kids Coming to see Department Store Sanata Colin with their Christmas Wish Lists). In Duet, Chip and Wayne sing to Nicole the Receptionist in the style of swing. In Bartender, Chip tends to Colin, who is mad about his haircut, and Ryan, who is in love with his shoes. Chip hosts Party Quirks. His guests are Wayne (Entire Night's Entertainment at a Hawaiian Hotel Luau), Colin (Salty Old Sea Dog who can See Amazing Sights in People's Bellybuttons), and Ryan (Series of Temperamental Actresses Screen Testing for a Nude Scene with Chip). The four sing the Broke Up Irish Drinking Song. Chip wins, so Wayne, Drew, Colin, and Ryan act out the World's Worst person to be leader of the world in a crisis.

Episode 22

Kathy Greenwood

2005-05-02 • 22 min

Let's Make a Date has Kathy choose from Wayne (Panicky Frat Boy Waking Up On His Wedding Day Blindfolded, Naked & Handcuffed To Colin), Colin (Incompetent 1940s Gangster Who Bungles A Bank Robbery And Has To Make A Desperate Escape), and Ryan (Smart-Mouthed Brat Who's Been Told Never To Lick The Metal Plate In Colin's Head In Winter). In Motown Group, Wayne, Colin, and Ryan sing ""Do the Fireman"". In Narrate, Ryan and Colin are at a lingerie shop. The Scenes From a Hat the four act out are ""Other People Dorothy Might Have Met And What They Would Have Asked The Wizard For"", ""Something You Always Wanted To Tell Your Parents But Couldn't Until Now"", ""Titles Of Self-Help Books Written By Dogs"", ""World's Worst Person To Share An Elevator With"", ""What Phone Sex Operators Are Really Doing On The Other Line"", ""How Men Can Make The Most Of Their Time While They Are Stuck Cuddling With The Little Woman"", and ""The Last Thing Drew Carey Thinks Before He Drifts Off To Sleep"". Kathy wins, so the rest

Episode 23

Kathy Greenwood

2005-05-09 • 22 min

Weird Newscasters Colin anchors... Kathy co-anchors as a ""Jerry Springer guest who's been brought on to reveal her shocking secret to husband Colin""... Wayne is the sports guy who is a ""world famous fashion designer training his new models how to work the catwalk""... Ryan is on the weather who is ""using everyone else's bodies as his weather maps"". Number of Words Deleted scene from Rocky. Colin plays Rocky (3 words), Ryan plays Rocky's coach (5 words), Kathy plays Rocky's wife Adrian (2 words) and Wayne plays Rocky's tough-talking opponent (4 words). Action Replay Kathy and Wayne act out a scene where the boss is arriving for dinner any minute. Kathy is struggling to fit into her tight outfit, while her husband Wayne frantically tries to fix a burst pipe under the sink. Living Scenery Colin and Ryan play a couple who ride donkeys into the Grand Canyon for a romantic overnight camping trip. Wayne and Kathy are the props. Showstopping Number Wayne, Colin and Ryan are in

Episode 24

Brad Sherwood

2005-05-16 • 22 min

Game 1: Hollywood Director Ryan and Wayne as two Southern convicts.Game 2: Mowtown Group""Do The Policeman.""Game 3: Sound Effects James Bond and Colin are tied up in a villain's mountains headquarters.Game 4: Greatest Hits Songs Of The President Artificial Winner: Colin Drew Game: Props Credits Roll: Wayne and Brad as two guys in a bar complaining about the people who have made their lives miserable.

Episode 25

Kathy Greenwood

2005-05-23 • 22 min

Seating Order: Wayne, Kathy, Colin and Ryan.Questions Only: Kathy and Wayne start in a scene where they are a very passionate couple who stumble across Frankenstein's castle one stormy night. Sound Effects: Bad-tempered Santa Ryan and panicky elf Colin are late loading up the sleigh to start their round of deliveries. Audience member Julie does the sfx for Ryan and audience member Karen does them for Colin. Weird Newscasters: Reporting are: Anchor: Colin(Dan 'You're Gonna Pay Me Back That Ten' Bucks) Co-Anchor: Kathy(Doody McPherson), a hideous old crone coming on to all of the men. Sports: Wayne, whose body is being controlled by a prankster in the audience. Weather: Ryan(Stormy), a hi-tech thief on a mission to steal the amazingly life-like Kathy Greenwood statue. Scenes From A Hat: If statues could speak, things you don't want to see old people doing and outtakes from the Whose Line soap opera. Helping Hands: Martha Stewart is away and Ryan (using Colin's hands) is her bad-tempered stand-in holding a master for Kathy, giving her tips for the holiday season.Winner: None announced Credit Reading: All four as if their bodies were being controlled by a prankster in the audience.